


If I Loved You Less

by Queen Bee (untakenbeepun)



Category: Kaleidotrope (Podcast)
Genre: Background Relationships, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Other, Plot shamelessly stolen from Jane Austen's Emma, slowburn, they'll get there but you've seen Emma it takes them a god damn while
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 12:15:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30021651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untakenbeepun/pseuds/Queen%20Bee
Summary: Matchmaker extraordinaire and radio host Harrison has his sight set on matchmaking the whole of Sidlesmith University together - if his grumpy co-host doesn't have anything to say about it.Silly schemes and misunderstandings ensue. Can Harrison fix it all and get everyone matched up with the love of their life?As long as he's not clueless about it.(It's Jane Austen's Emma, but Sidlesmith).
Relationships: Drew/Harrison (Kaleidotrope)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	If I Loved You Less

The radio booth was crammed full when Drew got there that Thursday.

Their usually small space was made even smaller by the fact that there were two people sitting on the sound desk, making out furiously and dangerously close leaning against all of the switches and starting an ill-fated broadcast early. Drew gingerly slid his way around them into the radio booth and slotted himself down into his seat.

His co-host, Harrison, was already there, elbows propped on the table, head in hands, looking dreamily out of the window to where the two people outside were still going at it furiously.

“Isn’t it beautiful, Drew?” Harrison enthused, not even looking Drew’s way.

Drew took a sip of his coffee. “I think it’s enough to make you lose your lunch.”

“Drew!” Harrison slapped him on the arm, scandalized. “Don’t talk that way about our roommates.”

“They might not be our roommates for much longer if this goes on,” Drew said, wearily. “If I have to go through the process of trying to find someone else to share the rent, I think I’ll throw myself off the Sidlesmith clock tower.”

“You and Adina worked out okay!”

“Exactly why I’d like her not to move out.” Drew leaned back in his chair, rubbing his eyes with the pads of his fingers. “The last one kept putting his iguana in weird places. Like my bed. In the middle of the night. Also, we’re ten minutes late for our show.”

He slammed his hand against the glass, and mercifully, Hal and Adina unlatched themselves from each other long enough for Drew to look pointedly at Hal and tap his watch. 

“Well, anyway. _I’m_ happy about these new developments,” Harrison said, somewhat smugly. “It is my greatest success.”

“ _Your_ greatest success?” Drew snorted. “Success implies endeavour. You can’t just say, ‘oh, it sure would be nice if these two people got together,’ and then pat yourself on the back when they do. You had nothing to do with it.”

“ _Drew,”_ Harrison said, “I’m wounded that you would think so little of all the work I’ve put in these last few months, arranging study sessions between the four of us just so the two of them could spend time together.”

“So that’s why nobody but me seems to get any work done when we go to the library.”

Harrison ignored him. “I knew from the moment they first saw each other that they were destined to be together, and now look at them,” he said, sighing happily. “Perfectly, happily, wonderfully in love.”

Drew barely huffed in response.

They were interrupted by the sound of Hal tapping on the glass, holding her fingers up and counting them down.

“Hello, listeners,” Drew said into the mic. “You’re listening to Kaleidotrope, with Drew and—” he cast a glance over to where Harrison is still staring dreamily through the window at the disgusting display outside— “who are you tonight?”

Harrison blinked. “Oh,” he said, coming to his senses, “tonight I think I’m going to be... Bennet.”

“Bennet?” Drew asked. “As in, Elizabeth?”

“You got it,” Harrison said, and did that kind of half smile of his, eyes twinkling.

Despite himself, Drew’s lips ticked upwards. “Right. You’re here with Drew and Bennet. Sorry for the lateness, folks, we’ve been having some... technical difficulties in the studio this evening.” 

“Listeners,” Harrison said with barely contained excitement, “we have yet another new canon ship with us tonight. My roommate – and our producer – Hal, and Drew’s roommate, Adina. After months, and months of chasing each other—”

“Months of you not-so-subtly pushing them together, you mean,” Drew interrupted.

“—They finally confessed their feelings for each other, and now they’re very happy together. I wish you could see this, everyone,” Harrison said, dreamily.

“Listeners, trust me when I say that you _do not_ want to be in this radio booth right now,” Drew said. “It’s enough to make you queasy.”

There was a screech of static and Drew let out a soft _ow_ and rubbed his ear beneath his headphones. Through the window, Hal shot him a pointed glare.

Harrison carried on as if nothing had happened. “Don’t you just love that new relationship glow?” he said. “That feeling where everything is new and exciting, and everything just seems sunshine-y and lovely?”

“New relationship or not, it doesn’t mean you have to stick your tongue down each other’s throat at every opportunity,” Drew said sourly, still rubbing his ear.

From the other side of the window, Hal made a very rude gesture.

“Anyway, listeners, regardless of what Drew says, we are in a happy new relationship high here at Kaleidotrope headquarters,” Harrison said, with a cheerful grin, “so if any of our previous match-ups want to send us an update, text us and let us know how you’re doing! And if there are any new potential pairings out there, text us and we’ll give you our best advice to get the two of you together!”

Only a few seconds passed before Drew’s phone made a soft _ding._

“Oh, this is from Rosa,” he said, reading the text aloud: “ _Hi Drew and Bennet, just wanted to let you know that Sabrina and I are still totally into each other. Next weekend I’m going to meet Sabrina’s parents! Love you two! Love, Rosa.”_

Harrison immediately went soft eyed, giving a sigh and clasping his chest ever so slightly. “That’s wonderful, Rosa. I’m so happy you two are still going strong.” 

It was a marvel really, how Harrison managed to keep up that much excitement for every single couple that texted into the show. If Drew was required to be that joyful every day, he’d be _exhausted._

“Oh!” Harrison said as his phone buzzed. “We’ve got a text from a new listener! Let’s see, this is from... Wendy. Hi Wendy! They say: _Dear Drew and Bennet, I am waged in an epic battle with my nemesis Lisa who keeps recalling the library book that I desperately need to finish my thesis._ Oh, this is an easy one!”

Drew blew out a breath. “Is it?”

“Of course! Perfect pairing material.”

“Didn’t she refer to her as her ‘nemesis’?” Drew said. “Brilliant basis for a relationship, I’m sure.”

Harrison wagged his finger at Drew. “Some of the greatest pairings come from a place of discord. That’s how you know there’s passion there! Besides, the use of the word ‘nemesis’ tells me that she feels strongly about this person. Hate and love are only two steps away from each other.”

“If you say so,” Drew said.

Their radio show continued, and Drew sank down into his chair, letting Harrison’s usual babble wash over him, responding with a pithy comment here and there when necessary. Their Tuesday and Thursday nights had a rhythm to them. It was easy enough just to let Harrison talk, as silly as the subject matter was. He sometimes wondered, grinding his teeth together a little, how his _music_ show had become Sidlesmith University’s number one love match show, and the answer was simply: there was no stopping Harrison. He’d marched into Drew’s radio show – while he was _on air,_ no less – and simply changed the format. Right then and there. Without prior discussion. He was a force of nature, and Drew was powerless to stop him.

Also, Hal had told him that his ratings were low, and Harrison was the key to getting more listeners.

Go figure.

* * *

Harrison was in his element.

If there was one thing Harrison was good at, it was sniffing out a ship. He could spot an OTP a mile away, and he took great pleasure in making them happen.

Tuesdays and Thursdays were Harrison’s favourite days in the week. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, he got to make love _happen._

He swung idly back and forth on his chair as he talked, his cheek resting on his hand, propped up onto his elbow on the desk.

As always, it ended too soon, with Drew leaning forward into his microphone to say, “and I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got time for. Tune in on Tuesday for more of... this.”

“Remember, Sidlesmith, if you have any need of love advice, or if you know of anyone, you’d think would make a good match, text us! We’d love to hear from you!”

“Goodnight, Sidlesmith,” Drew said, and behind the window, Hal took them off-air.

Drew pulled his headphones off, stretching his arms back with a sigh. Harrison watched him carefully, elbows still on the table as a grin stretched across his face.

Drew stilled. “What?”

“Oh, nothing,” Harrison said, still grinning.

“The look on your face says otherwise.”

“I’m just basking in another day of successful OTPs.”

Drew rolled his eyes.

“You know, it’s not as silly as you think it is.”

“Oh, it isn’t, is it?” Drew said, pulling his bag out from under the desk, pulling out a scarf.

“It’s not,” Harrison said, stubbornly. “And if you let me set you up with someone, you’d see that I was right.”

“Absolutely not,” Drew grunted.

“You’re always such a spoilsport.”

“At least I’m consistent.”

Harrison huffed a laugh and then pulled his own bag out from under the table, slinging it over his shoulder, pulling open the door and - almost crashed straight into a woman standing in the doorway.

She stumbled back before Harrison could walk into her, jostling a ponytail of faded pink hair, one hand fiddling with her sleeve of her other arm.

“Harrison? Drew?” she asked.

“Hi!” Harrison said. “That’s us!”

Drew wiped the snarky look of his face. “Are you one of our texters?” he asked.

“I’m Wendy,” she said.

“Wendy! Hi!” Harrison said, grabbing her hand and shaking it vigorously. “We’ve never had anyone meet us in person before! And we have matching hair, look!”

He let go of her hand – she looked rather overwhelmed by the sudden greeting – and went to pull at one of his bright pink curls. 

“What can we do for you, Wendy?” Drew asked. 

“Oh, well—” Wendy’s eyes flickered away from the two of them, ducking her head a little as a blush crept across her cheeks— “I was wondering if you did... in person advice?”

Drew frowned. “Oh, well, we don’t really—"

“Of course, we do!” Harrison said, high pitched, before Drew could finish speaking. “I’d be happy to help!”

“Harrison—” Drew began, but Harrison cut him off again.

“Whatever your type is, I can find you the perfect person,” Harrison said, grinning at Wendy. “Did you have someone in mind? It’s Lisa, right? I bet it’s Lisa!”

“Oh, well, I—” 

Harrison squealed, not waiting for an answer. “I knew you two would make a perfect couple from the moment I saw your text! Right. I’m going to make this happen for you, Wendy, just you wait and see—”

“Harrison,” Drew said again, this time more firmly. His fingers curled around Harrison’s wrist, pulling him back into the radio booth. “Sorry Wendy, would you excuse us for a sec?”

The door closed behind them.

“What are you _doing?”_ Harrison slapped Drew’s hand away.

“What are _you_ doing?” 

Harrison let out a sharp breath through his nose. “I’m matchmaking, what do you think I’m doing? It’s what I _do._ ”

“What you _do_ is give out advice on a radio show and let people figure it out for themselves. _This_ is messing with real stuff – with people’s feelings.”

Drew’s lips were pressed tight into a scowl. It was the same scowl he used every time he disapproved of something Harrison was doing.

“How is what I’m doing any different from what we do every week on our show? Only in person this time? And you _know_ me, you _know_ I can sense a couple that was meant to be. I have to help them see it too.”

Drew rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. “You have to let people figure things out for themselves. If you’re wrong, you’re only going to get them hurt.”

Harrison felt a bubble of irritation rise up within him. “I know what I’m doing,” he said.

“Do you?”

Harrison pressed his lips together, stewing silently. Then he opened the door and stormed out.

“Wendy,” Harrison said, a breathless grin on his face as he threw an arm over Wendy’s shoulder. “We’re going to make it happen for you. We’re going to find you a match.”

Behind him, he dimly registered an exasperated huff coming from Drew, but Harrison ignored him.

_Success implies endeavour,_ Drew had snarked at him earlier.

“I’ll show you endeavour,” Harrison mumbled under his breath, eyes shining.

Harrison was the matchmaker of Sidlesmith campus. He could spot two people in love blindfolded.

He was going to find Wendy the perfect match, and then he’d find everyone else _their_ perfect match, and most pleasingly of all, _he was going to make Drew eat his words._


End file.
